Adapted Child ego state awareness
I have been looking at the ego state map, and It is getting so clear what has been happened to me recently. I know I am grieving about my dad dying just before Thanksgiving, and it has triggered alot of angry/defiant child, and the vulnerable child, but since the abandonment issue has really come up I see it is the vulnerable child that is reacting to the abandonment and pain of my childhood.
I have done work on the developmental steps before but I know I need to do more of it. There are deep wounds that must be healed. I am so grateful for this information, it is so helpful to get an understanding. I also have alot of resentment because I have fallen into an old pattern of high tolerance for unacceptable behavior from others and not being assertive, probably feeling like the victim because of being in pain again, or maybe the drama triangle, caretaker, victim, persecutor.
It does seem that there is a lot of reactions going on right now about other people, and I know there are times I should have spoken up but didn't. I am grateful that I am in recovery and can learn new ways to respond and take care of myself. I am not a victim. I shall be working on being more assertive not aggressive, or passive. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions,I am open to learning. Thanks Pat
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