Abandondment cycle every 2 to 3 years.

by Ray
(San Antonio TX)

My wife has had many issues in her past from divorced parents, the father treating his new children to new cars and nothing for her, her Mother belittling her in HS, an abusive first marriage and abandonment.

We first got married when she was way overweight because her first husband was so bad. I saw something in her that was good. Since then she has left me about 4 times, with one of the times we divorced, she got surgery and we eventually got remarried.

Since we got remarried she has left again and not I see the pattern of her leaving, she hates most things I do including watching the news. She is defensive of her children (all 20 and older). She had been drinking a lot and partying with the younger set. When she got drunk she said some awful things. We never resolved these issues and she has never apologised for her behaviour. Now she has moved out again. She still stops by for a few things and is cordial and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

I feel like I'm in a really strange movie and nothing makes sense. I'm tired of going around in circles and not getting anywhere.

I have withdrawn from her as far as conversation because I made one comment about one of the many things that she hates about me and she immediately criticized me and clammed up.

It's even more weird that she came over to the house to give the kids and myself haircuts.

What is the point of a separation if you don't talk, she hates everything about you or life together but you get a free haircut.

Any ideas?