a shameful wasted life

by mike
(usa)

Q: I resonate with the shame game. I am an adult and don't have kids but have wondered why I have walked away from every job offer (my dream jobs included) because of an unworthiness feeling that I couldn't identify. Ex: I was seeking employment advice from the school that trained me in my field, and when the department head offered me a job, I have to say I felt like I would be unmasked and/or I was unworthy and this guy just didn't know it. The feelings were not rationally viable, meaning I wasn't criminally oriented and just had normal problems like everybody else and didn't really know shame existed in my life.
Anyway, when I read about abuse and trauma effects on young kids, those explain me pretty well, meaning I am alone at 53 and have been forever it seems. Anyway, I can't believe that it really happened to me. Has shame and its components been clinically repeatable in patients and recorded by psychologists enough to be common, and I am just another victim of mis-parenting (dad alcoholic critical, mom depressed and I think she took it out on me)?In other words, is this real, and if I really resonate with it, meaning it turns the tumblers of understanding, could this really be my fate?

I feel robbed because of the shame monster that rose up and unleashed a torrent of reasons why I am not good enough. It baffled at the time and those who had offered jobs in the fields of my choice. I trained all the way up to taking my dream as a reality and walked away over and over. What say you, Mr./Ms. Ph.D? Please.

Comments for a shameful wasted life

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

May 22, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Its real
by: Don

Feelings are real...abuse is real...shame is real.

But it is not your fate. It is your opportunity to find something really valuable: recovery. Without the lash of addiction, or shame, or codependency, or Adult/Child Syndrome, millions of us may not have found the gifts that recovery has to offer.

You can get well.

Don (LCSW by the way)

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to The Iceberg Discussion Forum.