A Disease of Perception.
I was told I wasn't a bad person needing to get good, I was a sick person needing to get well. My first sponsor taught me that. My second sponsor asked me if I'd ever heard of someone completely changing everything about themselves? He said, "That's what I want you to do."
It seems only people who hit their bottom and experience imminent death and imprisonment have enough motivational evidence to make such a change. It's hard. Scary. Most of my motives were based in fear. But regardless of why, what I am going to do, is what's important. After some time the fear lessens and life's rewards take precedence. Like any great endeavour, it's one step at a time, one moment at a time. The gift I have today is gratitude and appreciation. A relationship with a higher power, who I choose to call God. And a willingness to be in the moment, the only place I actually exist.
Some of us have to lose everything to appreciate anything. I'm glad my bottom wasn't six feet lower or I wouldn't be writing this. What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday? Would you even be alive?
Love you and hope you have a wonderful day. TN