53 year old boyfriend allows 25 year old son to do nothing but smoke pot and play video games

My 53 year old boyfriend has allowed his 25 year old son to move in and do nothing but smoke pot and play video games for 18 months and I have blown my stack

I have been with this man for 3 years, he is 53 and I am 44. 18 months ago, we brought his 24 year old son to live with us so he could get his feet under him, and get some direction in his life. After 7 months of living with us and doing nothing but smoking pot and playing video games and his father not pushing him, I blew up and threatened to push them both out of the door. The next day he found a waiter job. We moved 3 months ago and the son, at some point, had lost his ID and is SS card. I asked him what his plan was to get a job in our new area and he said he didn't see the need to as his ID was gone and he had no SS card. I have asked his dad time and time again, what is the plan and how are we going to help this situation? I then told his dad that the son had to start paying $500 in rent to contribute to the house and his dad blew up at me. I told him I wouldn't bring it up again. Well, I did. A few nights ago, I told my boyfriend I was going to move out for a little while as the situation has become too frustrating for me and that his inability to deal with it has broken our relationship. This spiraled into a nuclear meltdown of epic proportions and me subsequently kicking them both out. I love this man and want a life with him, but I did not sign up for a relationship with both he and his son, and that his inability to deal with his adult child has now ended up in my lap.

I am now seeing a counselor to deal with my "rage" issues and my "stuffing of feelings" issues.

Help and thoughts are appreciated

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