23 yo son hasn't worked in a year and a half. Says hes starving and threatening me
We got my son an apartment when he was going to college and working. We agreed to pay the rent if he paid his living expenses. He dropped out of college almost 2 years ago and said it wasn't for him and he wanted to do real estate like me. He "said" he was taking the course and then failed the test 5 times. I have continued to pay his rent and living expenses because he kept saying he was going to take the test again and really prepare and needed the time to study. Have begged and pleaded for him to get any kind of job. He refused. I stopped giving him spending money a few weeks ago. Now he says he is sick and starving and broke his phone, no money for gas so he can't get a job. My husband is done with him and hasn't spoken to him in 2 months. Now he is upset with me for continuing to enable him. Last night hit a shocking all time low when he texted me from another phone and said if I didn't send him money he would take measures that I wouldn't like and that he was coming over and I better have a gun! Then he sent me a picture of him in a hooded mask! My husband travels a lot and was gone last night. I live in a condo so had them deactivate his fob to get in but I am still scared. This boy always had a heart of gold until the last couple of years and had pretty much everything growing up. Even after this I am still so frightened that he may actually be hungry and do something stupid. Or when I don't pay his rent next month he would end up homeless. I have given him extra money repeatedly and it's never enough. He has alienated almost every one of his friends so I know he has no one to talk to and nowhere to go if he doesn't pay rent. I am so upset and confused. Please help. The only advice I get from everyone is to cut him off and let him hit rock bottom. I fear he will end up moving back in with us which will be disastrous. He smokes pot all the time and gambles online. I don't know what to do and my husband has washed his hands of him. Thanks and sorry for rambling on.
Click here to post comments
Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Enabling Behavior Discussion Forum.