18 year old Daughter out of control

by Ronda
(La Quinta, CA. US )

I am confused and not sure where to turn. My daughter who recently turned 18 has me on an emotional rollercoaster. When she was 12 her father and I divorced because he was acting paranoid and later I learned it was a drug addiction. She adored him and has spent the last 4 years trying to save him and now she too is using drugs and drinking.

I have tried every way I can think of to help her and it always ends the same. She stays with me 2 - 3 weeks and I get her stable, I get her eating, sleeping habits back to normal, and I help her move on with her life by assisting her with job ideas, applications, take her to interviews, buy her clothes to wear have her hair done etc, and then she blows up over some silly thing and gets verbally abusive claims she feels unloved and that I provided the worst childhood, says she hates me and runs back to her dads.

This cycle has to end and I am so afraid for her life. She refuses rehab and refuses to admit she has a problem. Everything becomes my fault and I get paralyzed by guilt. Any suggestions